The post Ted Cruz: ‘Vacationing Is How I Grieve’ appeared first on The Onion.

Researchers who polled 6,000 people from the U.S., Australia, Chile, China, Germany, India, Mexico, Nigeria, Spain, South Africa, South Korea, and Turkey found a cross-cultural consensus about the personality traits that make someone “cool,” in which cool people were universally viewed as more extroverted, hedonistic, powerful, adventurous, open, and autonomous than their peers. What do […]

The post Poll Finds What Makes Someone ‘Cool’ Similar Across Cultures appeared first on The Onion.

WASHINGTON—Insisting that he deserved a place alongside the iconic visages of the auto supply company’s founders, President Donald Trump issued an executive order Tuesday adding his face to the Pep Boys logo. “After all my tremendous work on behalf of American car owners, many have said that I should have my image up there with […]

The post Trump Orders His Face Added To The Pep Boys Logo appeared first on The Onion.

ITHACA, NY—Scoffing at the idea that the players would be able to properly honor their victory anywhere else, the owner of local tile store All Stone and Tile was reportedly offended Tuesday that the Little League baseball team he sponsored had celebrated its win at a pizza place instead. “So I guess we spent several hours setting aside all these tiles we […]

The post Tile Store Offended By Sponsored Little League Team Celebrating Win At Pizza Place Instead appeared first on The Onion.

A suburban mansion once home to NBA legend Michael Jordan is now available to rent on Airbnb, boasting seven bedrooms, 17.5 bathrooms, infinity pool, movie theater, cigar lounge, salon, full-size basketball court, and more, costing more than $100,000 for a seven-night stay. What do you think?

The post Michael Jordan’s Former Chicagoland Mansion Listed On Airbnb appeared first on The Onion.