Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Artist Profile: Haim

Haim will begin touring this fall to promote I Quit, their fourth studio album. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the band. Genre: 2013 Members: Kevin, Joe, and Nick Jonas Attitude: Starting to get mad Awards: 4 NME awards, 1 Brit award, and 1 J.D. Power Award for Best Compact Car Pre-Show […]

The post Artist Profile: Haim appeared first on The Onion.

Fantastic Displacement Opportunity

This reasonably priced two-bedroom offers homebuyers the exciting chance to help push out the working-class residents who have called the neighborhood home for generations.

The post Fantastic Displacement Opportunity appeared first on The Onion.

Sext Has Edit History

The post Sext Has Edit History appeared first on The Onion.

Congress Passes Law Banning Women From Leaving House Without Makeup

WASHINGTON—In a landmark piece of legislation that disgusted supporters said was long overdue, Congress passed a law Thursday banning women from leaving the house without makeup. “For too long, Americans have lived in fear of walking outside and encountering the unthinkable—a natural-looking woman who refuses to wear cosmetics,” House Speaker Mike Johnson (R-LA) said in support […]

The post Congress Passes Law Banning Women From Leaving House Without Makeup appeared first on The Onion.

DOJ Removes All Mentions Of Justice From Website

WASHINGTON—In the latest of a series of escalations in President Donald Trump’s highly publicized war on “woke,” the U.S. Department of Justice reportedly removed all mentions of justice from its website Friday. The purge follows a directive from the DOJ last week to roll back pro-justice programs and delete thousands of webpages that contained banned […]

The post DOJ Removes All Mentions Of Justice From Website appeared first on The Onion.