MIAMI—Whispering a final goodbye to a wallet photo of his wife and two young daughters, beer delivery driver Marcus Dailey jumped down from the cab of his semi truck Wednesday and pointed a trembling shotgun as a crowd of Scottish soccer fans closed in. “Back! I’m warning you! Get back right now!” said Dailey, nestling the […]

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Multiple Christian energy drink brands, such as Yahweh and Praise Energy, have hit the market, capitalizing on the image of Jesus to sell their products. What do you think?

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CHICAGO—Calling the update a major breakthrough for players who enjoy new-ball smell, Wilson Sporting Goods officials unveiled a new line of tennis balls Tuesday that contain even more smell. “We know tennis fans love that bright chemical fragrance, so we dipped these balls in as much smell as they could physically absorb,” said Wilson spokesperson […]

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LOS ANGELES—In a desperate attempt to lower the production budget, director James Cameron confirmed Tuesday that the next Avatar film would be set entirely in a Pandora studio apartment. “Look, you can’t always get a blank check to do all the motion capture and underwater sets that you want, so I decided that the next […]

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