Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Mystery House

You can accept a four-bed colonial for $450,000…or take your chances on the mystery house! Reference #68379

The post Mystery House appeared first on The Onion.

Ron Howard Molts Baseball Cap To Grow Warmer Hat For Winter

The post Ron Howard Molts Baseball Cap To Grow Warmer Hat For Winter appeared first on The Onion.

Barstool Sports Spins Off New Literary Journal

CHICAGO—Seeking to expand beyond sports coverage into radical new forms and expressions, Barstool Sports announced Monday that it would soon launch Confluences, a literary journal featuring book reviews, flash fiction, and in-depth arts criticism. Representatives at the sports website told reporters that Confluences would allow Barstool staff to supplement their usual output of fantasy football […]

The post Barstool Sports Spins Off New Literary Journal appeared first on The Onion.

Ghislaine Maxwell Reminded That A Simple ‘I’m Sorry’ Could Make This All Go Away

WASHINGTON—Advising her that even the most basic gesture of contrition would solve all her problems instantly, lawmakers reminded convicted sex trafficker Ghislaine Maxwell on Monday that a simple “I’m sorry” could make all this go away. “We’re just asking for two simple words that demonstrate you feel a sense of regret for the harm you […]

The post Ghislaine Maxwell Reminded That A Simple ‘I’m Sorry’ Could Make This All Go Away appeared first on The Onion.

Report: Poisonings Of Domestic Partners Have Increased

The Department of Homeland Security warned that the use of toxins, such as ricin and cyanide, to poison domestic partners has increased over the last five years, driven by several factors including accessibility of online information, ease of obtaining certain chemicals, and perceived difficulty in detection. What do you think?

The post Report: Poisonings Of Domestic Partners Have Increased appeared first on The Onion.