Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Allen Goltham and Ryne Baxter

The severely hungover pair woke up married Sunday morning after an alcohol-fueled six years of courtship and dating.

The post Allen Goltham and Ryne Baxter appeared first on The Onion.

‘I Could Totally Do That,’ Says Correct Man Watching Luge Event

OWENSBORO, KY—Insisting that the Winter Olympic sport was “basically just lying there and letting gravity happen,” local man Michael Chou correctly declared Tuesday that he could totally compete in luge and it wouldn’t be that difficult. “Not to shit on these guys, but c’mon, if you can successfully go down a waterslide, you’ve pretty much […]

The post ‘I Could Totally Do That,’ Says Correct Man Watching Luge Event appeared first on The Onion.

Barstool Sports Spins Off New Literary Journal

CHICAGO—Seeking to expand beyond sports coverage into radical new forms and expressions, Barstool Sports announced Monday that it would soon launch Confluences, a literary journal featuring book reviews, flash fiction, and in-depth arts criticism. Representatives at the sports website told reporters that Confluences would allow Barstool staff to supplement their usual output of fantasy football […]

The post Barstool Sports Spins Off New Literary Journal appeared first on The Onion.

Mystery House

You can accept a four-bed colonial for $450,000…or take your chances on the mystery house! Reference #68379

The post Mystery House appeared first on The Onion.

Trump Attempts To Distract From Epstein Files By Gaining 200 Pounds

The post Trump Attempts To Distract From Epstein Files By Gaining 200 Pounds appeared first on The Onion.