Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

New Raid Immortality Spray Curses Insects To Watch Everyone They Love Die

RACINE, WI—Vowing that the new product line was the ideal way to make termites and beetles suffer for all eternity, household chemical manufacturer S.C. Johnson announced Wednesday that its insecticide brand Raid would be unveiling a new immortality spray that curses insects to watch everyone they love die. “With Raid Immortality Spray, bugs will no […]

The post New Raid Immortality Spray Curses Insects To Watch Everyone They Love Die appeared first on The Onion.

World Cup Tourists Fail To Leave Tips

Restaurants and bars catering to World Cup visitors have struggled with foreign tourists leaving without tipping, with many travelers confused by or unaware of the American practice. What do you think?

The post World Cup Tourists Fail To Leave Tips appeared first on The Onion.

Rigged Erection

The post Rigged Erection appeared first on The Onion.

Beer Delivery Driver Points Trembling Shotgun As Crowd Of Scottish Soccer Fans Close In

MIAMI—Whispering a final goodbye to a wallet photo of his wife and two young daughters, beer delivery driver Marcus Dailey jumped down from the cab of his semi truck Wednesday and pointed a trembling shotgun as a crowd of Scottish soccer fans closed in. “Back! I’m warning you! Get back right now!” said Dailey, nestling the […]

The post Beer Delivery Driver Points Trembling Shotgun As Crowd Of Scottish Soccer Fans Close In appeared first on The Onion.

Indian Director Scores Movie’s Psychedelic Section With Trippy Western Classical Music

The post Indian Director Scores Movie’s Psychedelic Section With Trippy Western Classical Music appeared first on The Onion.