Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

U.S. Military Strikes Boat Allegedly Carrying Cartel Members

The U.S. military struck and killed 11 people aboard a Venezuelan vessel that President Trump alleged were smuggling narcotics, with critics questioning the legality and evidence behind the operation. What do you think?

The post U.S. Military Strikes Boat Allegedly Carrying Cartel Members appeared first on The Onion.

Mourners Unaware They Burying Knockoff Giorgio Armani

The post Mourners Unaware They Burying Knockoff Giorgio Armani appeared first on The Onion.

Planet Fitness Bans Proper Form

HAMPTON, NH—Stressing its commitment to making everyone feel welcome regardless of athletic ability, national gym franchise Planet Fitness instituted a new policy Thursday that bans proper form. “We don’t want new gym-goers to feel intimidated by people doing squats correctly, so from now on, members will be penalized when they lift with their legs instead […]

The post Planet Fitness Bans Proper Form appeared first on The Onion.

Mailman Too Old To Be Out There

The post Mailman Too Old To Be Out There appeared first on The Onion.

8th Grader’s Voice Drops 6 Octaves Over Summer

DEDHAM, MA—Remarking that the adolescent had undergone some pronounced developmental changes during the course of his vacation, middle school sources reported Tuesday that eighth grader Ryan Alcorn’s voice had dropped six octaves over the summer. According to eyewitnesses present in Mrs. Jeterson’s homeroom, Alcorn opened his mouth during classroom introductions to reveal that the high-pitched […]

The post 8th Grader’s Voice Drops 6 Octaves Over Summer appeared first on The Onion.